The Reason You Can't Stick to Anything

hey—

You don't trust yourself anymore.

It started small. A workout you skipped. A project you put off. A promise to yourself you broke "just this once."

But now? You hesitate before making a commitment to yourself because deep down, you're not confident you'll follow through. You've taught your brain that your word to yourself doesn't mean much.

Here's the thing:

Self-trust isn't about never failing. It's about proving to yourself that you can bounce back from failure and keep going anyway.

Trust Erosion

Every broken promise to yourself is a withdrawal from your self-trust account.

"I'll wake up at 6 AM." Hit snooze until 7:30.

"I'll meal prep on Sunday." Order takeout instead.

"I'll finally start that side project." Open Netflix.

Your brain is keeping score. And right now, the score isn't in your favor.

The one thing that has become increasingly clear in my own struggles with self-trust is that we’re not broken. We’re just operating with a system that's designed to fail.

I used to make grand declarations every Monday about how "this time would be different." I'd promise myself I'd work out every day, eat perfectly, wake up at 5 AM. Then by Wednesday, I'd be back to my old patterns. Adding another layer to the story that I just wasn't disciplined enough.

Most people try to rebuild self-trust by making bigger promises and hoping for different results. That's like trying to lift 200 pounds when you can barely manage 50. You're setting yourself up for another withdrawal from your self-trust account.

Building Self-Trust

Picture your self-trust like a muscle that's been injured. You don't start back at the gym with your old max weight. You start with embarrassingly light weights and work your way up.

Self-trust works the same way.

You don't rebuild it by promising to transform your entire life starting Monday. You rebuild it by making promises so small that breaking them would feel ridiculous. Then you put every effort into keeping them religiously.

Here's what this looks like in practice:

1) Start Absurdly Small

If you want to rebuild trust around your fitness, don't commit to hour-long workouts. Commit to putting on your workout clothes. That's it.

If you want to rebuild trust around creativity, don't commit to writing 1,000 words. Commit to opening a blank document.

If you want to rebuild trust around learning. Don't commit to reading for an hour. Commit to reading one page.

The goal is proof. Proof that when you say you'll do something, you do it.

2) Collect Evidence

Your brain learns through evidence, not intentions. So start collecting evidence that you keep your word.

Every time you follow through on a micro-commitment, write it down. Keep a running list on your phone: "Proof I Keep My Word."

Day 1: Put on workout clothes ✓

Day 2: Opened a blank document to start writing ✓

Day 3: Read one page ✓

It’s not about tracking big wins. It's about building a case file that proves you're someone who does what they say they'll do.

When you collect enough evidence, your brain starts expecting you to follow through instead of expecting you to fail. You stop negotiating with yourself about whether you'll do something—you just do it because that's who you are now.

3) Allow Yourself to Bounce Back

You will miss days. That's not the problem. The problem is what you do next.

I used to treat one missed day like evidence that I couldn't change. I'd use it as permission to quit entirely. "Well, I already broke my streak, might as well start fresh next Monday."

Of course, that tendency only broke down my self-trust even further.

Instead, treat missed days like data. What happened? What can you adjust? Then get back on track immediately—not Monday, not next month, today.

The fastest way to rebuild self-trust isn't to never fail. It's to prove you’ll get back up faster than you fall.

Start Where You Are

I want you to notice something this week:

How often do you make small promises to yourself that you immediately break?

"I'll respond to that email after lunch." Don't. "I'll go to bed at 10 PM tonight." Scroll until midnight. "I'll clean my room this weekend." It's still a mess.

Just notice. No judgment. No fixing. Just awareness.

You can't rebuild something you don't realize is broken.

Self-trust isn't rebuilt through grand gestures. It's rebuilt through ordinary moments where you choose to keep your word to yourself, one small action at a time.

You don't need to trust yourself with everything. You just need to trust yourself with one thing. Then another. Then another.

That's how you become someone you can count on.

— Johnathan

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P.S. I'm running a 21-day challenge starting July 14th for people who want to rebuild their self-trust systematically. If you're tired of breaking promises to yourself, check it out here.